The Joy that Comes from Letting Go

This morning I found this story I wrote last summer just before our boys left for college. A lot has changed since then, especially me. “It’s going to be a big change with them coming home in a couple weeks,” I said to my husband last night. We had no arguing among boys and a ton of fun like newlyweds. “Yes, it will be hard, but it will be good,” he replied. And, he is so right! For those of you hesitant to let go of a paralyzing fear, bad job, relationship, habit, child or something else, may God give you the courage to do what I did last summer and come out smiling and joyful a year later… Here’s my story…

I am one of those moms who continues to do those things I thought I’d never do as a mom. As much as I want our boys to fly, I feel like my heart is being ripped away. Change is hard, indeed it is. It’s when growth occurs. We must change and adapt. These are the things I’ve constantly done over the years, but there are just some things I don’t want to change, but know I must.

The greatest gift my parents gave me besides grounding me with a firm foundation of faith was the freedom of flight. I was never a pilot like my dad, but they allowed me to navigate and find my way, just like I want for our boys, and yet, at the same time, I want to hold them close and never let go.

Nearly every day of their lives, I’ve kissed them goodnight and prayed for God to bless them. I’m missing these moments already because they are rarely at home anymore.

Today they returned home from a trip they took together to Atlanta; the youngest twin was already asleep, but the oldest was still awake, sitting-up in bed.

“This will always be your room,” I told him. “You can always come home.”

“I know,” he said as he patted my head that was hugging his chest.

I thought changing double diapers was hard, but this letting go part beats double diapers. Right now, I wish I could start over and do it all again. Do it better.

There’s a lot I’d change about my life, but the funny thing about getting a do-over is I wouldn’t be the person I am today that is ever so thankful for God’s grace and understand the faith it takes to “move mountains.”

Change has to happen. It’s the natural progression of life. None of us were created to live forever. We are here for a purpose – a moment – then we are gone.

Like one of my favorite artists sings, “I’m letting go of the life I planned for me.” Honestly, this life isn’t about me. Our boys were created for God’s purpose, not ours.

Okay. I feel much better now.

You moms out there, you know those things that happen that tug on our hearts. I know you can relate. It’s the way God wired everyone of us.

That sentence above was the last one I wrote last year, now that’s it’s been almost been a year later, and I survived what I thought was going to be a broken heart, I can honestly say… Don’t miss out on the joy that comes from letting go!

 

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